


No man can fly

by marya



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: M/M, fluff and sad, i think i kinda failed, i tried to make this fluff, life after fnatic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 04:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16548917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marya/pseuds/marya
Summary: The song is on repeat, blasting through the speakers.It surprised him that the melody was somehow upbeat, but the lyrics gave him a sad vibe. At least, from what he could understand with his rusty Spanish.Maybe that’s why he’s come back to it. Because it is a sad song.And so is he.





	No man can fly

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! <3 This is my first time writing Pekenide, so I hope you like it. Please, forgive any spelling/grammar mistakes that can be here and there (I tried to fix them all, but English is not my first language, so...).
> 
> The song they ramble on all the time is "Nunca nadie pudo volar", by La casa azul, in case someone understands/speaks Spanish and wants to give it a listen (or you can do it anyway and just enjoy the music). Other than that, thanks so much for reading!

The song is on repeat, blasting through the speakers.

Lauri heard it for the first time a few months ago, when Enrique was cooking and telling him about this Spanish indie band he likes so much. Something like _La casa azul_. It surprised him that the melody was somehow upbeat, but the lyrics gave him a sad vibe. At least, from what he could understand with his rusty Spanish.

Maybe that’s why he’s come back to it after that. Because it is a sad song.

And so is he.

He rolls on the side, feeling his body numb from laying on the bed for so long. Lauri was supposed to go to the gym first thing in the morning, then have lunch with some friends, and after that he thought about playing a couple of League games.

Guess what he didn’t do? Any of that.

Instead, he’s been here, looking at the ceiling with that Spanish sad song filling every inch of the room. He knows the lyrics by now — _fuck_ , he even knows the guitar chords even though it’s been a long time since he last picked up one. But it’s just _so_ mesmerizing. Like hypnotic. As if the band had known about his feelings, the thoughts storming through his head, and had written the song just for him.

That’s how he feels: understood by a melody. Not his friends, or family, or boyfriend.

A stupid Spanish song.

“Lauri?”

Speaking of the Devil…

Lauri wraps himself with the blankets, trying to disappear from the world. He used to do this so much growing up. Everytime he failed an exam, someone was about to start an argument or he simply didn’t want to face the consequences of anything he had done, he would believe that a few layers of cloth would make him invisible.

It never worked until he met Enrique, though.

The first time he ran to his room and became a burrito was after they had a losing streak their first year at Fnatic. Competition wasn’t as big as it is now, but he still felt like he was a disappointment. Having left Finland behind pursuing his dream of living out of video games, he thought he owed something to the world —be the best.

Not a failure.

Back then, the flat they were living as a team was small and you could barely have any privacy. He shared a room with Enrique, so he wasn’t exactly surprised when the sound of the door opening preceded his thick accent calling him.

He sounded curious at first, then desperate. It was only after Lauri popped his head out of the blankets that Enrique sighed in relief.

“Phew, I didn’t see you, man,” he grinned. “Mind some company?”

The Spaniard didn’t wait for his response and jumped into the bed next to him. Lauri blinked a couple of times, his blue eyes piercing the midlaner.

“What do you mean you didn’t see me, moron? I was here all along.”

Enrique shrugged, rolling to the side to face him.

“Maybe you’re a magician, I don’t know.”

But the way he winked at Lauri made it pretty clear that he was willing to play it along. In between of all the negative thoughts that were flying over his head, that was a light that cleared everything a little bit.

Enrique, always spoiling him. Letting Lauri hide under the blankets until he’s ready to talk to him. Even now, years later, when Fnatic is just a distant memory and League of Legends is something he used to be good at.

He calls the Finnish again.

“Lauri?” Enrique sounds a little bit closer than before and Lauri can feel the mattress going down under his weight, just by his back. “I’m going to turn off the music.”

“No.” Lauri finally pops out the head. “Please, leave it.” Even he can notice his voice all raspy from not using it all day.

And the crying.

Maybe that’s why Enrique is looking at him in demand. He can even hear the questions in his head. _Have you been like this all day? Why didn’t you call me before?_

And the plea: _Lauri, please, let me help you._ Because Lauri is always ‘okay, just a little stressed’. Lauri is always ‘tired and doesn’t want to go out, just sleep’, he _always_ has to catch up on his sleep.

Lauri never wants a helping hand because admitting he’s not in control means he’s failing at life again.

All Enrique does, though, is sighing and wrapping Lauri’s body with his arms, the chin resting on his head. Lauri can hear his heartbeat through the t-shirt. _Boom-boom. Boom-boom._ It’s always relaxed him, and so he can feel his body releasing the tension, the anxiety he’s felt ever since he woke up this morning, as if it was waiting for this moment to finally give up.

Enrique’s calmed breathing makes Lauri close his eyes while trying to keep up with the rhythm. _Breathe in, breathe out_ . He thinks he could easily fall asleep now. _Breathe in, breathe out_. The scent of his boyfriend’s after-shave makes him feel safe.

They stay like that for what feels like an eternity. Or maybe it’s just a few minutes, until Enrique finally moves a little and lets out a soft groan. Lauri looks up at him.

“It’s the song. It’s piercing my head,” the Spaniard explains.

“Okay, turn it off,” Lauri says, emotionless. And then he clears his throat to get rid of that stupid raspy voice. “You were the one showing it to me, though.”

“Not for you to make me hate it,” Enrique scoffs, shutting the music. He sighs, long and deep, in relief.

“Sorry.”

“You know the song talks about conquering your fears too, right?”

And Lauri raises his head and blinks, so Enrique takes it as a ‘no’ and shrugs with a wide smile. The one that always draws whenever he knows he’s winning at something. Maybe he’s found the way of making Lauri speak.

At least, he manages to bluntly answer back:

“No it’s not.”

“What? You don’t believe me?” Enrique chuckles, taking a seat by his side. He starts to caress Lauri’s back. “Who’s the Spaniard here?”

“I’d believe you if I didn’t know you love to trick me to get what you want.”

“And what is it that I want _right now?_ ”.

They stay silent for a few seconds, their eyes meeting. Maybe they’re trying to read each other’s mind, but Lauri gives up again:

“Me out of the bed.”

For a brief moment, Lauri swears he can see a shadow crossing Enrique’s eyes. Yes, that’s what he wants, there’s no need in denying he really, _really,_ wants his boyfriend out in the world, being the active person he was when they first met. The Lauri that used to go to the gym, or do the groceries, or play some video games. The Lauri that made everyone laugh with his sarcastic comebacks and would drink so much and be just a little tipsy while the rest of the team was wasted.

The Lauri Enrique fell in love with when they didn’t even know it was love and all they said was that they were ‘experimenting’.

“Why do you love this song so much?”

_Because I feel understood by it._

Lauri takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“Is it the music? The lyrics? It can’t be it, because you don’t even understand them…”

“I said I don’t know.”

Enrique nods, all silent.

“Your Spanish was never too good.” The midlaner clicks the tongue and shows him the lyrics on his phone. “Can you read this for me?”

“You have to stop, you have to give up. You have to wait, you have to forget,” he translates, feeling a weight on his chest, like every other time he’s heard the lyrics. Trying to sink him.

_You can’t do this, you can’t do this, you can’t do this._ That’s what he takes out of the song. The defeat tastes bitter, but at least he’s the only one feeling it.

“Go on,” Enrique encourages him to read the next verse.

_Saltaré al vacío total. Voy a sobrevivir._

“No.”

“Why not?”

He doesn’t have an answer. Of course he knows what those verses mean, and if Enrique thinks this will all be solved by translating a stupid Spanish song, he’s way more oblivious of the main issue than Lauri would ever imagine.

“I’ll take a leap of faith. I’ll survive,” he reluctantly translates.

“Yes, Lauri. You will.”

“It’s just a song I made you hate. A stupid song about not being able to fly and falling into the unknown.”

“But you can fly,” Enrique states. When Lauri looks at him, he’s no longer smiling. “You can fly,” he repeats.

And yet the songs says, over and over again, ‘no man can fly’. Like Icarus, that went too close to the Sun and fell and died. But here’s Enrique telling him otherwise, like he did when Lauri first wrapped himself with the blankets and knew everybody could see him. Like everytime Lauri’s felt he couldn’t do something and Enrique has backed him until he finally managed to actually do it.

“How?” he asks. And the voice cracks a little and his eyes burn. Lauri doesn’t want to cry again, but being shy with his boyfriend it’s stupid at this point. “I don’t know how.”

“I’ll help you.” Enrique takes his hand and draws a little encouraging smile. “We’ll fly together.”

So Lauri gets up, for the first time that day, and lets the blankets fall behind him. He gets a little dizzy and feels his body weak when he tries to move.

But he will fly. Enrique promised.

Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but he will fly. And maybe that’s also enough for him to take that leap of faith and ask for help. Because that’s what winners do.

And Lauri always wanted to be a winner. So he will fly.


End file.
